River Rat

4th of July is quickly approaching. I think we all know what that means, the River Ratz(localz spell it with a Z) come out of their cages and showcase their fine talents in the heat of the summer. Being that my territory is the prime time hot spot to see these species in their prime, I figured I could at least share a few gems to get you prepared for any possible encounters.

Qualities that can identify a River Rat:

Passout Pee This is usually the first clue. If you are on a houseboat with all of your homies and some random falls asleep at your dinner table and pisses herself....then she is either from Havasu or New Mexico. It made dinner very enjoyable to say the least.

You are pissing out in public and think that the black ford is a urinal. Extra Credit here: Tanner was actually thoughful enough to bring his own tunes and beer! Also, you cant see it but he is wearing two watches, dual time zone bitches. I love you Tanner!

Public display of drunkeness. Not only do you have a problem, but you feel the need to wear it on your head.

Public display of same sex affection. This is the worst quality of a River Rat. Especially if it is two of your best friends that you thought were straight this whole time. Its alright TJ and Jefe, I am fine with it.

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