I have been on the hunt for a house in SLC for the past 60 days or so. Anytime I find a sweet place it turns out to be a scam, no pets, or no garage. Dre and I found a place a week ago that we set up a time to look at as soon as we got up here. The place was dirt cheap, $800, they were only leasing it for 6 months before they put it up for sale. The property manager that was handling the listing called us to offer the lock box code and a little background info. She said that the tenant was not living there but still had some stuff inside the rental. She had also mentioned that some other possible tenants said something about a tanning bed downstairs. Weird right? Not as weird as it was about to get.

Andrea, Chris Brown, and myself roll up to this place thinking it looked like any other bungalow in the area. As soon as we walked in I noticed a few things: There was recessed lighting that this guy put extra long energy efficient bulbs in and in turn put little 1x1 size bed sheets taped to the ceiling to cover them up. The centerpiece of the main room was a "BowFlex" home gym, soups creepy. The kitchen was littered with trash, like super sketchy style, broken eggs, dirty dishes, the works. It looked like a squatter was living there.

Just for shits and giggles we decided to check out the basement to see what it had to offer. I will never walk down a basement first, just a phobia of mine I guess, so I made Brown lead the way. As he made it to the floor of the basement he was searching for a light switch. I was standing at the top of the stairs waiting for the A-OK. Instead the lights came on and I received the absolute most priceless look I have ever seen on Browns face. Fully flabbergasted! It was at this point that I remembered a slight mention of a tanning bed. However, she failed to mention that it was a homemade tanning bed, didn't think that was possible. All of us were in sheer awe of this fine example of weekend engineering. As we sat examining this contraption I noticed all of the intricate details. The most basic description that I could give would be: a human size airplane hangar, framed up out of dowels, wrapped in tin foil, laced with fluorescent bulbs, and plugged into a wall timer. The absolute most ghetto waste of time investment I have yet to come across. We were super bummed that it wouldn't turn on. After assessing this situation for a few minutes I began to feel like we were in Buffalo Bills Dungeon. I felt an immediate need to leave before someone came home to skin us and tan our hide in his little invention. Sorry I couldn't get a better picture. This should give you a good gauge as to how gnarlified this thing was.

Needless to day, our search continues.

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